even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
