I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
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