Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
