Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
