Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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