she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
only you would photoshop your dick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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