it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
