So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize