I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
