he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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