and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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