you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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