just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
