so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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