shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize