so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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