I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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