Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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