do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
