I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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