All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
