I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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