If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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