I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize