Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
