Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize