it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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