I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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