Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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