I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize