You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
