I just pynch a tree in the face
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
