you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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