you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
