this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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