I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
