these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
