Heybabeimwearingurpanties
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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