so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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