what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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