You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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