Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I love you.
Bad choice
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