They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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