Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
