I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
