Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize