in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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