I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize