They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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