Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
