Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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