Non-Jews are for practice
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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