You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Randomize
