don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
