I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
