addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
