So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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