bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
