I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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