idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
