You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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