And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
