she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
