Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
