i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I could make wine with my vomit
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
