Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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