I looked at my own cervix.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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