I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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