I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
