Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
