Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
