he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
