I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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