I'd wear matching sweaters with you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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