Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
