Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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