it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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