I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
