so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
